My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
