I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
