Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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