ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
