I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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