I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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