you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
