i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
