Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
