He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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