if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize