Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
