Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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