i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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