I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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