Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize