So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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