i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
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Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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