i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
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Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
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He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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