Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
