Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
