So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
