Rock
Scissors
Fuck
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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