i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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