well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
