Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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