Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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