i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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