just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize