Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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