Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
