Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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