Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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