I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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