I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
