you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize