Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize