oh god the rape fog is back!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
