Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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