I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
