i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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