Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
