We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
