My friends, they love my intelligence
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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