never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
