I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
