You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
