Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish you could order shots online.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
