I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
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Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
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