i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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