My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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