Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
