i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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