I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
