Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
