I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
