I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
