Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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