I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's blow job season.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
