If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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