it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
