im drinking this country out of the recession.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
